The Soul Feed


8 ways to role model a healthy & loving relationship

By Nicola Poole IN Connect Repair

As we all know, children learn best through observation. Monkey see monkey do. No doubt, as a parent, you’ve heard and seen yourself in your children, sometimes in such a way that it makes you question your own behaviour! Like sponges, absorbing all they see, it’s super important that you take the time to reflect on your own values and ensure they form the foundation of how you choose to show up in your relationship. Your children will witness this and at some point explore how those same values will serve them in their own lives.

As much as it’s a HUGE responsibility (and one that takes a great deal of patience!), it’s worthwhile understanding that teaching these values really does begin in the home, one small interaction at a time…

Because we all want what’s best for our children and how we interact with our significant other will more than likely, be what they will learn to experience for themselves. Here are some guiding principles that will help model a healthy & loving relationship in your own life:

1. Equality is a key component of a successful relationship. Having the belief that we’re all equal and cultivating a mutual level of respect for one another, sets a solid foundation for your relationship. Also treating your children as equals will help them feel like valued members of the family, which of course they are!

2. Children learn to be dishonest if we’re dishonest with them (or with our partner). Honesty is a crucial component of a healthy relationship. Although it can sometimes result in uncomfortable conversations and strong feelings, it will always be more beneficial in the long run. It builds trust which forms the foundation of long-lasting relationships. 

3. Modelling a healthy relationship, helps children understand the concept of self-worth. When we’re able to be our own person in a relationship and loved for our uniqueness, our children will feel like they can be free to be themselves also.

4. Teaching our children about freedom of choice and the ability to make their own (age appropriate) decisions, will help them learn how to be independent and self-reliant  an important quality of a healthy relationship.

5. As a parent, taking responsibility for your actions and any subsequent outcomes, will help children understand the concept of accountability. By explaining the possible outcomes that will occur before they make a decision, your child will learn about consequences. For example, if you ask your child to put away their toys so they don’t get damaged and they refuse, when something breaks as a result of it not being stored safely, explain to them that because they chose to leave the toy out, it won’t be getting replaced. 

6. By practicing non-judgment of others (yes, this can be tricky at times!), children learn the art of humility. We all come from different backgrounds and can’t know why people make certain decisions, so always listening with the ears of your heart can help keep an open mind. 

7. Choosing to share your life with another comes with the need for compromise and sacrifice. These are also important qualities that our children can learn from, serving them well for future relationships. 

8. Staying in a long-term relationship in this day and age is not easy. If you continuously work at your relationship and evolve together, you teach your children the importance of self-growth and always striving to be your best self.

Relationships take patience and perseverance, but most of all they need to be based on love and acceptance. We need to continuously work on our intimate relationships and demonstrate to our children the highs, as well as the lows. This will help set up our children with the tools they need to navigate the complex realm of relationships!


Nicola Poole

With a belief that everything happens for a reason, Nicola trusts that we are given all we need to be able to handle any situation life throws at us. With a deep determination and curious spirit, she loves connecting with other women to both learn from and assist in any way she can. Nicola is a qualified yoga instructor, spiritual counselor, and parenting coach on a mission to support you on your path to wellness. She holds qualifications in Human Nutrition, Concomitant Healing and a Bachelor of Science in Medicinal Chemistry. As a devoted mum, Nicola values family and commitment. She is committed to providing you the very best possible care in order to achieve true wellness and live the life you dream of.